New Thing # 5 – Talk to Granddad Once a Week

Feb 8, 2010 |

So first up, apologies for the radio silence of late. Not the best way to drive traffic to one’s site I must say, by posting only one thing a week. I do have an excuse though, sir. Myself and Mrs NT moved flats last week and, because Virgin Media simply do not want my money, we have no internet at home for 10 days, meaning all blogging is being done at work (but not during company hours, obviously. We don’t want to get into the shit on this one).

So I decided that it was about time that my New Thing was a bit constructive and meaningful after two weeks of taking my clothes off and making a fool of myself (don’t get me wrong though, that was more fun that the time I did the shopping when a bit drunk, although I still haven’t found a use for the Polish Peaches in Brine that I ended up with).

So last week I decided to do something that I really should do a lot more often: phone my granddad. I’m going to try and do this every week from now on because, to be honest, my granddad is a legend. Like most men of his age (he’s 98……98!!!!!) he fought in The Second Great Unpleasantness to ensure that people like you and me can safely enjoy Britain’s Next Model and cups of Horlicks without even the merest hint of sauerkraut. Boris Becker, though, was out of his hands.

Granddad New Thing and Old Man New Thing

He spent a lot of time being posted around in exotic places like North Africa, working on ships and generally helping out in any way he could. Our family’s best-loved story is of “Poppa’s Chest” which was a large tea chest full of memorabilia, from spent cartridges to local pottery to Nazi regalia, which Granddad collected and sent home. Sadly the chest never arrived and was never seen again but by god I bet there is one happy postmaster somewhere living off the proceeds of that bad boy.

Poppa was then shipped home himself where I believe he led a team of soldiers defending airfields in England. I think they were the chaps that manned the immense ground guns (my army knowledge is impeccable as you can see) that teased, toyed and eventually blew up the attacking Messerschmitts. Family legend has it that on one occasion Granddad’s chaps didn’t quite finish off one of the attacking planes and it crash-landed on the field, directly on top of a jeep. Granddad and chums had jumped to safety, only for a piece of flaming jeep to catch the old boy in the leg. Bang! Shrapnel wound and the war is over. He still laughs about it now though which is good but has the limp to prove it. What a hero.

As New Things go, am not sure this one will be topped on a personal level. Granddad lives in Worcester in a flat and is as chirpy now as I can ever remember him. But I am useless at seeing him, being the incredibly important person that I am on the fringes of the fringe media. So the very least I can do is talk to him once a week and I thank this whole project for making me realise that.

Recent suggestions for other new things include: